Friday, March 14, 2014
This morning I had one of those insights that probably fits in the category of “Master of the Obvious” but for some reason I received it as a shock to my consciousness. One of those “aha’s” that the more you think about, the greater the intensity of “snarkiness”.
I was contemplating the emergence of love…the type of love that is pure…whole…without intent…and I began to realize how I (perhaps we) have kept this love that resides in the core of our being, hidden…protected it might seem. We’ve built a wall around it. It feels so vulnerable… Then I realized that that which I was attempting to protect was the essence of the feminine…the great nurturing force of unconditional love...As I felt more into this it began to dawn on me that perhaps I wasn’t really trying to protect the great feminine -after all it is eternal- perhaps I was really trying to protect myself!
I’m sure this seemingly innate need to protect this great love and vulnerability originated in some pretty horrific experiences…There are memories – some very old and others not so old – of suffering due to the expression of anything that might be considered remotely feminine. The human body (mentally, emotionally and physically) has suffered great pain in the expression of this feminine energy. So walling it off so to speak, isn’t without cause.
In this moment I am being flooded with memories of all the times I have given a workshop in a public institution and someone or a group of someone’s has complained or stated that they could do without the “touchy-feely” stuff. Some would roll their eyes or cross their arms over their chest in silent but poignant protest while others had no problem voicing their disdain. Now, I realize that this really was an unconscious act of desecration regarding the divinely feminine - something that has been going on for centuries and something we have just come to accept. As one of those “touchy-feely” types, I have firsthand experience with the negativity and judgment associated with any expression of feeling or vulnerability in meetings or settings. One learns to put up with it. Yet realizing these acts for what they really are, now brings greater understanding and perseverance regarding that which is meant to emerge after centuries of “hiding”.
Now, I realize that building a wall around this beautiful, loving, nurturing and expressive energy was about me. It doesn’t need protection…and quite frankly neither do I. The world desperately needs the feminine. And now that I know what I know, I can stop any patrols…tear down any walls…and consciously allow this divine energy to once again emerge, untethered.